House Party
by writer02135
Summary: In this story, 5 FMA characters are stuck in a house together. Al gets a pet tarantula, Winry has a teddy bear, Envy embraces his inner child, people blow up and Wrath really wants some Sugar Pops... pairings inside. Ketsora production. Warning: randomnes
1. Arrival

House Party House Party

**Pairings: AlxWinry, WrathxEnvy (brotherly), and EdxWinry**

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Al opened the door first, and stuck his head inside the musty old room. He coughed and smiled at the people he would be staying with. These were Ed, Envy, Wrath, and Winry. "Look guys, we're here," Al looked enthusiastic **(A/N: He has his body back) **as he dropped his bags over the threshold. Ed looked tired as he yawned and looked around. "This place is a dump. Envy, couldn't you have booked us a better vacation house?" Envy shrugged, "Look, pipsqueak, this was all the money I could get. Plus, this was the closest one around. From the look of you, you probably couldn't have managed another hour in the car." Al nodded but looked kind of surprised that Ed didn't react to the 'pipsqueak' interjection that Envy made.

Winry and Wrath, who were getting the bags from the trunk of the Chevy, paused at the door. "Why aren't you guys going in?" Winry asked. "It's musty and smells like dad's Derek Jeter cologne," Ed whined. "Suck it up and deal, midget," Wrath spat, pushing Ed over the door and face-down into the house.

Inside was pretty nice, with a sectional going around the left-most wall and a flat screen television. Wrath dropped the suitcase he was carrying, jumped over the couch and sat on one of the overly plush seats. Envy sat next to him and Ed followed. "What channels do we get up here…?" Ed asked. "Well, oh look, Animal Planet. World's Smallest Animals. Featured today, Edward the Fullmetal pipsqueak," Envy mocked. "Hey, who're you calling so short you wanna crush with a…" Ed didn't get to finish his rant as his golden eyes shut and his head fell on Envy's lap. Wrath started laughing.

Upstairs, Al and Winry were deciding who got which room. Al opted for the smallest one, or one with a nice closet. "Why a closet, Alphonse? You didn't bring much," Winry asked. "I like to sleep in confined areas ever since I was trapped in that armor," Al told her. "Oh really. Al, how do you manage. You know how scared I am of tight spaces!"

"Oh, so you're claustrophobic, Winry?"

"What the hell? I'm not afraid of Santa!"

"No, claustrophobic! Afraid of small spaces!"

"Don't make fun of me, Alphonse! I hate you!"

So Winry ran into her room and went into her emo corner. She proceeded to write in her diary, which proceeded to implode and cause her to cry even more.

(Downstairs)

"Uh, guys? I kind of made Winry cry so don't bother her for awhile okay? Brother, why don't you go help her out?" Al asked.

"He can't," Wrath told him, "He's asleep." "Oh really?" Al asked, "I didn't even hear him come upstairs." Wrath laughed, "He didn't. He's asleep right over here… on brother."

"Brother… you mean Envy…Ed and Envy…" Al got a terrible image in his head and went to purge his eyes with arsenic, because Al doesn't believe in yaoi. Wrath decided to watch some TV. He saw a commercial for Sugar Pops, you know, those puffs of corn dipped in two scoops of sugar. The only thing Wrath doesn't need…

Wrath poked Envy in the shoulder, "Hey, Envy! Buy me those. The Sugar Pops things!" Envy looked at him, "Uh, Wrath-chan, I don't think I can do that for you in three reasons. One, you on sugar equals the Apocalypse. Two, I'm broke. And three, my other little brother won't move his heavy-ass head!"

When Al came back, he was wearing an eye-patch. "Oh god, Alphonse. I didn't really think you'd put arsenic in your eyes!" Envy yelped. "Naw, I didn't do nothing like that. I just realized that all the good characters in manga have an eye-patch, so I wanted one!" Al drawled. Envy nodded and changed the channel so that Wrath wouldn't get any ideas for a sugary cereal but instead an X-rated movie came on. Envy was about to change it so his crazed little brothers wouldn't get any ideas, but Wrath stole the remote.

"Oh. My. God. This is the best movie ever!" Wrath drooled. Al sank into the seat next to Ed and the irresponsible brothers watched an X-rated movie together.

When Winry returned to the land of the living, or of the dead, they all had bloody stumps for heads because the movie rotted their brains. Winry sighed and counted the boy's heads. There were only three when there should've been four. "Sweet cinnamon rolls! Because you all can't cook you resorted to cannibalism and ate Edward!" Wrath turned around to shush Winry, "Edo is sleeping. Oh, and can you buy me some Sugar Pops?"

"No Sugar Pops," Winry sighed, sitting on the couch with the boys. Envy looked as though he was going to kill somebody if Ed didn't move. Wrath was also asleep on Envy's shoulder and Al was watching the episode of CSI: Miami that was blaring.

"So, Envy," Winry asked, "How long have they been asleep?" Envy grimaced, "Well, Ed has been asleep for the almost entirety of this fanfic chapter and Wrath just a few moments ago."

_Meh, I must have been really tired. The couch over here's a little harder than I remember… and what is tha noise. Sounds like that CSI crap Alphonse watches…_ Ed thought. He opened his sparkling golden eyes and looked up. He saw Envy's violet eyes looking down at him. Ed smiled, "Hey there Envy… wouldja mind not sitting so close to me when I'm sleeping?"

"Look, Fullmetal Ant, you're the one with his head in my lap, got it?" Envy grumbled. "WHO'RE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT YOU CAN'T DITINGUISH FROM A GRAIN OF SAND! And, HOLY CRAP WHAT DO YOU MEAN I WAS ON YOU?" Ed freaked out.

Wrath, who was still asleep muttered, "About time, idiot. I thought you had died…"

Ketsora: How was it? Roy: Not feeling it dawg.

**Ketsora: Hey, don't worry Colonel. You're in the next chapter. Now press the little purple button on the side there and make me happy, 'kay?**


	2. Ed's Pockets

Chapter 2: Ed's Pockets Chapter 2: Ed's Pockets

**Ketsora: Thanks to my reviewer, (as it stands while I write this. If that so happens to change then I'll be sure to include any new reviewers eventually. You mean a lot!) Ready? Chappy 2, Wrath wonders about Ed's pockets, Winry is locked in a closet with Al and Envy feels pretty…**

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The whole rest of the day, Ed was on speaking terms with no one. Envy attempted to throw Wrath off of him, but he wasn't successful until Winry declared that it was dinner. The youngest sin's violet eyes snapped open and he yelled, "Gimme some sugar pops!" Envy scowled, "You haven't given up on that crap yet?" Wrath smiled, "No way. Wrath is actually one of the most persistent sins you know!" Envy sighed, "Yeah, and I'm way more persistent, so I say no sugar for you, no dinner for you, and next time you wish to use someone as a pillow, DON'T USE ME!"

Winry made some stew out of carrots, peas and small pieces of beef. Ed scowled. "What's wrong Edward? Don't you love stew?" Winry asked. "Yes. But what derogatory statement are you making by putting in peas and little pieces of beef? Are you insinuating that I'm short?" he growled. Winry was prepared for the barrage of screaming about to follow, when the doorbell rang.

"Coming!" Winry said happily, but Envy already had the door open. There was a gunshot, followed by a flame and Envy pulled his burnt head out from the door. "Um, it's the military," he said, "And they're pretty serious, they killed me twice…"

Roy was smiling as he walked in the door, "Good evening Elric, Elric, Elric, Elric, and Rockbell." Envy sneered; "Don't call me an Elric." The Flame Colonel snapped his fingers and the Homunculus stepped back nimbly, smiling.

Alphonse ran in dramatically and screamed, "Colonel, spare us! We did it, we robbed the First National Bank of Central!" Roy raised an eyebrow suspiciously. "We didn't come for that Alphonse. We came for the Homunculi you're harboring. But, since you owned up, Havoc, Fuery, arrest him," Roy ordered. Al girly screamed, and ran into his room, hiding in his closet. Winry went up to get him back.

Mustang stared at Ed. "'Fess up, you're harboring wanted criminals. Hand them over and you'll get the minimal punishment, only because I like you," his countenance was serious. "Roy, be good to them, would you? The Homunculi probably broke in and Ed was about to call us, right Fullmetal?" Envy, who was disguised as Hughes laughed. Roy twitched, "Hughes? All right, that's it. No more hot sauce for me…"

Wrath crept into the kitchen and stole 4 tubes of wasabi. He transmuted them together into a huge hose. "Hey Colonel Hothead, cool off!" Wrath laughed, spraying the spicy seasoning all over Roy. Roy screamed, "Ah my eyes, my lovely eyes! WASABI IN MY EYES!" Ed then proceeded to kick the Colonel out of the house and lock all of the doors.

(Upstairs)

"Al, hey Al!" Winry asked. "In here," he responded. Winry looked around and opened the closet. "Hi, just don't close the door it's…" SLAM "… locked…" Al sighed. Winry started screaming, "ALPHONSE! WE'RE LOCKED IN A CLOSET! I'M AFRAID OF SMALL SPACES!"

"Claustrophobic…" Al corrected.

"Enough with the Santa thing, it ain't funny!" Winry squealed. She tried to open the door, but after at least four minutes she gave up. Pushing Al aside, she worked vigorously in a corner. Al looked over and smiled, "What 'cha doing?" Winry held up a suitcase reading "Portable Emo Corner" and seemed to contain a folding stool, banner reading "EMO", and assorted diaries, razors and stereotypical emo things.

(Downstairs)

Envy sighed, "I'm going to take shower. Wrath…" Said Homunculus looked up at his brother, "Yes Envy?" He just smiled, "Make sure nothing happens to Edo, okay? I'll be in trouble with his fangirls if he dies." Wrath sighed. He then muttered something about unreasonable demands and sulked off.

Ed was playing with a Nintendo DS he stole from Roy when he came earlier. "And I regret nothing!" Ed yelled to the sky very dramatically. Wrath stared at his "brother" and began cursing his luck. _Why are all of my older brothers idiots except Envy?_ Wrath pondered.

_Oh, and Envy's not an idiot, kid?_

_Not as much as you Ed… wait… how'd you get into my interior monologue?_

_This is __**your**__ interior monologue, Wrath? Sorry, I was trying to tune into Winry's…_

The Fullmetal Alchemist just sighed and said, "I'm going into the bathroom okay. Don't wait for me. I left my Alchemy Text in there." Unbeknownst to him, but knownst to everyone else, he was about to experience another awkward moment with Envy, (because these are oh so funny, neh?)

Ed heard some humming and began to wonder what he was getting into. When he was about to open the door, words became distinguishable. "I feel pretty, oh so pretty. I feel pretty, witty, and gay!" came Envy's voice. Ed stopped in his tracks, muffling laughter and decided to go in.

"Envy!" Ed laughed.

The sound of a door being ripped off of its hinges could be heard throughout the house, then followed by screaming, alchemic reactions and then a really pissed off Envy. "Screw what I said to Wrath about making sure you don't die! I'm going to tear you apart, foolish little brother!"

(In the closet)

"Winry, does your portable emo kit have a TV in it?" Al whined. Winry smiled for the first time since being stuck in the closet and pulled out a small TV, replying, "It only gets, like, two stations and sometimes the button to change it gets stuck, so be warned." Al nodded emphatically, and switched on the television. "It's… the… freakin'… Teletubbys!" he gasped for air as his eyes burned, "Switch the channel!" Winry screamed, "I can't, it's stuck!" So the teens screamed in the closet, where no one could hear them.

(And now for something completely different)

After Ed escaped Envy's wrath (I made a pun. Hah. Okay, not funny…) he ran into the only other person he didn't want to see. Wrath.

"Hey brother. I've always wondered about your pockets," he started. Ed groaned, "What about them?" Wrath smiled in his ever so innocent way and ventured, "You can fit a ton of stuff in there. Why're they so deep?" Ed took this moment to scare the annoying Homunculus away from him, "Well, they're deep so I can suffocate kids in them, then burn them and scatter their ashes."

Wrath looked terrified and ran scared to Envy. Ed knew nothing good would come of that, so he turned on the news. A blaring report of a huge blizzard coming their way made the Fullmetal Alchemist turn white.

_Jeez. With our luck, we'll be snowed in!_

**Ketsora: And that's a cliffhanger. Now for a teaser for the next chapter, in stores, soon enough! Review!**

"_Envy, apologize to Ed for hitting him," Winry scolded. The Homunculus replied in silence. Winry looked at all the boys in front of her and started, "Maybe just being locked in a closet with Alphonse can make anyone think crazily, but I have an idea to make the best of you guys."_

"_What?" Wrath and Ed were the only ones who dared to venture._

"_Well, a slumber party, complete with scary stories, snacks, chick flicks, and make-overs of course!" Winry answered happily._


End file.
